The Willing Leader

I wish to begin my new year writing about what I think a true leader should do to advance a more hopeful and positive mindset in 2022.  Our society is hurting in many ways and this is causing unprecedented friction among individuals, organizations, governments, and even within families.  It is easy to say “this has happened before,” “history repeats itself,” “all will be well in the end.” I don’t believe in established fate on which we have no control. I believe that we control our actions, thoughts, words, and attitudes. Therefore, we are responsible for how we live and how we respond to our stimuli.

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey very clearly captures the difference between a human being and the rest of the sentient world. Humans have the ability to pause after a stimulus and choose their response. We have the capacity to be proactive rather than being reactive. So, in a world where individuals are reacting to what happens around them, oftentimes deciding to be negative about it (even in a violent way), it is most important that we regain our humanity by becoming more proactive and choose our positive selves over the frustrating and callous persona we see out there more and more.

As I was considering these thoughts and pondering over the example of my parents who always taught me to educate myself and be prepared in life, I have come to some conclusions that I wish to share with you in hopes that together we can work to change our own little world, what Dr. Covey defines as our “Circle of Influence.” 

Good change comes as we ask ourselves good questions that are conducive to good reflection. For instance, I always try to respond to the question “who am I?” This usually takes me to a better understanding of my place in the various roles I play and the context I am in. However, it is important to understand that, whether I act in my family environment or in my social or professional ones, the reality is that it is a mistake to be categorized within silos of thought and behaviour.  I am who I am and it is me whether I am at work, at home, at a party, or even by myself.  And so, if this is the case, then what can I do to make the world a better place in 2022?

I have come up with three points that I believe are critical to making positive changes in my life and that of others within the reach of my influence.

1. I will accept human qualities and imperfections – In my life, I have found myself questioning someone’s behaviour just because I had preconceived ideas about that person. “Oh, he comes from that place” or “Isn’t he just that?” or “Isn’t he the son of so and so?” By doing this, I frame judgement on someone and what I am really saying is “I cannot trust or believe that person because of who he is, where he is from, or what he does (and so on).” The reality is that I know many think of me the same way. This line of reasoning is toxic and is part of the culture of shame that author and researcher Brene’ Brown attributes to the competitive nature of our society and decsibes so well in her work. My new question in 2022 – what my paradigm shift must be – is: “Will I forfeit my own peace and even opportunities of growth by not accepting or being open to review ideas, opinions, and even counsel or direction from someone just because I know he or she is human, has frailties, and has a different view of life than mine?” This year I will try harder and be more accepting and compassionate.

2. I will accept change as a positive part of my life – this is somewhat related to the previous point. When I was young, one of my teachers used to say that if we are not able to accept change, our roots are not deep. I’ve always tried to understand what he meant by this. Then I thought of the strength of my parents and my grandparents who went through so many changes in their life and so many hard times, including a few wars. Having deep roots means being resilient. We can be surprised at a pandemic; we may find our political leaders lacking; or we can find many other negative events and issues afflicting our society on a daily basis, but the reality is life is not meant to be a big, giant routine. Life is beautiful because it is varied and change happens constantly. If my roots are deep, I will welcome change not as a challenge but as a companion. Glenn L. Pace once said: “Into each of our lives come golden moments of adversity. This painful friend breaks our hearts, drops us to our knees, and makes us realize we are nothing … This friend makes us plead all the night long for reassurance and into the next day and sometimes for weeks and months. But, ultimately, just as surely as the day follows the night, as we remain true and faithful, this strange friend, adversity, leads us straight …” If my roots are deep, I will develop the ability to accept new challenges with enthusiasm, I will accept people for what they are and what they can and do become. Change will not  only drive our roots deeper but cause them to grow into new and fertile soil.

3. I will be fully committed to be an agent of positivity – The other day, I was reflecting on the facts that, most of the time, our media tend to focus on the negative rather than on a balanced account of events. For instance, in this pandemic, we hear a lot about how many infections we have daily, how many deaths, how many hospitalizations, and so on. But we never hear how many people have healed or even survived this ordeal. It is as if to state that we are entitled to a life without issues. But natural events and man made mistakes, or, even worse, intentionally created issues, will continue to occur and we either accept this fact or we will feel miserable and live with fear and anger. This is not how I wish to live the rest of my life.  Today, as I was pondering about my life, I felt grateful for having being blessed during these times. We decided, as a family, to focus on the positive and not on the negative; in what we have and have received, rather than what could happen to us;  on lessons learned and not on regrets or complaints.  And I felt joy! This is how I wish to feel every day, knowing full well that things will happen to me and to those I love. But life is precious and deserves to be lived no matter what. So, I will try to be positive and to help others to be positive and make a true difference in our community, our family, my profession and business, and my own self.

So how do I see the leader of 2022? Someone who is willing, ready, and able to accept imperfections, change, and commitment to positivity. Someone that, in the words of author Benjamin Hardy and consultant Dan Sullivan, is willing to live in the Gain and not in the Gap. 

Our society teaches that we need to pursue happiness, and this is a wonderful goal, but are we taking the time to appreciate the happy places we have already been and currently are? The leader of 2022 will stop, recognize, and celebrate the accomplishments of a lifetime or even of one day before moving to the next “pursuit.”

Happy New Year!

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