Vision and Blindness

Last week, as I was walking down the street for my morning walk, I suddenly saw a flash of light in my left eye followed by the flowing of a dark liquid which has since occupied the middle of my eye leaving me half blind.  I immediately went to my doctor who called for an ambulance, fearing that I may have had a stroke. Luckily, at the Emergency, I was told that there was no stroke and that this was an eye problem.  So, they sent me to an eye doctor.

I have seen two ophthalmologists so far who told me that the dark liquid floating in my eye is blood. It is so dense that they are unable to see what has caused or is causing the bleeding so the only way to correct the issue and find the cause is through surgery. I am waiting to receive a phone call from Vancouver to have it done.

As I can’t see as clearly as I used to, a myriad of thoughts have come to mind:  what if this is a serious problem and I lose sight in one eye?  Will I have a normal life after this?  Will I fully see again? Is this a precursor of something worse? And more…

I also thought: where is the lesson in all this?  Over the years I have read stories and met individuals with life changing problems and challenges. Many of these individuals were a true inspiration for the readers of their books or the people they touched directly.  In the past, I have always thought: if something so challenging happened to me, how would I react?  As I pondered over all this, I thought of some principles that I have learnt and am still learning from all this.

1. There is more to me that I can see. Although my physical reality is important to me in order to live a fulfilling life, there are other aspects that are also very important.  My mental, emotional, and spiritual being, and also my social and family connection, my sense of belonging.  Can I lose physical sight and still have a sense of worth and usefulness? The answer is a resounding yes.  If we are not able to understand that life is full of challenges and surprises, then we are in for rocky, very rocky, ride. Do I really want to live miserably for the rest of my life having experienced the fullness of joy that comes with it?  The answer is a definitive no.  This perspective has helped me maintain a sense of tranquility in all this, which is helping me live with this latest physical trial despite of it. 

2. Never give up. Although some people may say I am a successful person, with a good job, a reputation, a great family and many friends, and a relatively comfortable life, I have dealt almost constantly with tribulations since I was born.  When I came to this world, I could not breath on my own and had to stay in an incubator for a while, my parents not knowing if I would live or die.  I have been mocked, bullied, harassed, and the likes, for what I believe, for my accent, for being overweight, and more.  I left my home country and renounced to a wonderful present and an even happier future to live in a new country where I had to fight hard to rebuild myself. And the list can go on. However, I always thought, if I give up, I will never have a chance. And so, even with the pain of all this, I always fought. When a challenge comes, I always think, one way or another this shall pass and in the end I will be a better person than I am now. 

3. Have I touched someone today? If I understand a bit about life, I truly believe that in the end it is not the money, my career, a big house or car that will have counted, but the difference we will have made on someone, even if only one.  Jesus Christ spoke eloquently of the shepherd who lost one sheep. He left the ninety and nine safe and went to the rescue of the one lost. So, the main question is: have a I carried the burden of the ones who needed the most when they needed the most?  I hope I have. So, losing one eye’s sight, although I don’t believe I will, is nothing compared to the good that still needs to be done. 

4. Be grateful. Yes, I know I have suffered, but I am grateful and not only to the good God but also to the many persons that contributed to enrich my life and have believed in me. My parents, my brother, my wife and children, my many friends, some great colleagues throughout the years and many others. I felt their love and care and warm embrace, and I continue to do so.  Recently, I had an opportunity to hear from Joe Roberts, a keynote speaker with a remarkable and amazing story. He was a homeless drug addict who lived under a bridge in Vancouver and carried all his belongings in a shopping cart for fifteen years. But in the moment of most despair, when he was ready to take his own life, someone came to the rescue even in the very moment he was almost going to pull the trigger. And from that moment, when he began to hold onto those helping hands, he made everything he could to change his life. And he did. He furthered his education and eventually became the CEO of a multimedia corporation and the co-founder of The Push for Change Foundation, a charity advocating for youth homelessness prevention.  Joe walked 9,064 kilometers across Canada from May 1, 2016 until September 29, 2017, pushing a shopping cart to raise money and awareness about youth homelessness.

So, I know, my friends, that many of you are going through much worse (I know at least three of my friends that are actually fighting for their lives as I write this article) than I am. But please take my advise, which is also Joe Roberts’ advise: there is more to us than we can see.  The light is still there…

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